Archive for » May, 2009 «

Just for Fun Friday: Three Ducks on a Bus
May 29th, 2009 | Author: admin

fatherduck

Going against all logic, The Tone Deaf Ducks once set out on tour. Father duck wrote the following poem about their adventures. When asked about Mother Goose’s Nursery Rhyme Rub-a-dub-dub being a rip off of this poem, Father Duck simply replied “I can’t blame her for changing the words. After all, I would rather be with three men in a tub than with three Tone Deaf Ducks on a bus.”

Three Ducks on a Bus

By Father Duck

Gus-a-fuss-fuss,
Three ducks on a bus;
And who do you think they be?
Marty, and Jose,
And Bob are on their way;
Tone Deaf Ducks all three!

Gus-a-fuss-fuss,
Three ducks on a bus;
Where are they on their way to?
They’re going on tour.
Why? I’m not sure.
They sing like the stink of a shoe.

Tone Deaf Ducks Tour

Tone Deaf Ducks Tour

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Category: Humor, Just for Fun Friday, Poetry  | Tags: , , , , , ,  | 2 Comments
Ask the Pig in Pajamas: Premier Episode
May 27th, 2009 | Author: admin

piglogo1

The first episode of Ask the Pig in Pajamas is finished and what a learning experience! Though flawed and rough, I consider this a test pilot and everyone has to start somewhere, right? Now that I have the technical aspect of Pajama’s Vlog under control, future episodes are full of promise. Don’t worry if your question wasn’t answered this week. So many great questions were submited, I had to pick and choose. Your question may still appear in a future episode. Enjoy.

Would you like to see your question answered by Pajama? You can submit your question by replying to this post, emailing them to: pajama@duckofalltrades.com or by direct messaging  @duckofalltrades via twitter.

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Category: Ask the Pig in Pajamas  | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,  | 4 Comments
Failed Superheros: Pigeoninja and His Sidekick Wonder Wiener
May 25th, 2009 | Author: admin

Pigeonija and Wonder Weiner

Pigeonija and Wonder Wiener

Slated to be “the next best thing,”  Pigeoninja and His Sidekick Wonder Wiener sadly bombed in the public testing stage and never saw the light of day. Here is the back story of the two faithful heroes:

Pigeoninja was an ordinary pigeon until one day he was fed radioactive bread crumbs. The next morning he awoke and had an upset stomach. He felt better after pooping on a statue. On a completely unrelated note, he learned ninja skills from watching Karate Kid. Now if threatened, he will gladly show you “peck the ground.”

Wonder Wiener was a normal Wiener…that is until he changed his name to Wonder. Now he is Wonder Wiener and he wears a costume that makes him even more Wonderous. Wonder Wiener has the power to wear a costume and be a Wiener with the first name Wonder.

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Category: Humor  | Tags: , , , ,  | 4 Comments
Just for Fun Friday: Father Duck’s Tone Deaf Ducks
May 22nd, 2009 | Author: admin

fatherduck

Three Blind Mice? I think not. Try Tone Deaf Ducks. Tone Deaf Ducks is a rhyme Father Duck wrote about his three uncles: Bob, Jose and Marty. The Three ducks formed a barber shop quartet along with future Men Without Hat’s front man Ivan Doroschuk. Ivan left the group after a dancing incident in which he broke his arm caught between Jose doing the Cabbage Patch and Marty doing the Running Duck. He would go on to write the song The Safety Dance to encourage the trio to calm their violent dancing ways.

Mother Goose would later “borrow” Father Duck’s poem and rewrite it about less violently dancing and less horribly singing visually impaired mice. Sadly Bob, Jose and Marty have been all but forgotten. On a brighter note, they still sing as horrible as ever and are planning a comeback.

Tone Deaf Ducks

By Father Duck

Tone deaf ducks. Tone deaf ducks.
Hear how they quack. Hear how they quack.
They sing out of tune and miss every note,
Their voices a cross of a frog and a goat,
Did you know such a sound could come out the throat,
Of tone deaf ducks.

Tone Deaf Ducks

Tone Deaf Ducks

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Category: Father Duck's Nursery Rhymes, Humor  | Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,  | 2 Comments
10 Must Have Baby Items for New Fathers
May 18th, 2009 | Author: admin

With our baby’s due date approaching at blindingly fast speed, we had our baby shower this Sunday. It made me start to think about my first baby and the items that I found most useful. Following are ten baby items that I could not live without as a father. I highly recommend them to all new fathers to make their journey into father hood easier.

carrier Baby Carrier: I highly recommend this for new fathers. It’s important that you not entirely restructure your life to fit around the new addition. Find ways to implement your baby into your life. A baby carrier is a great start. My wife and I are involved in theater. It is a love we share and it brings us together. However, having a baby can present a problem with us both staying involved. We found our solution with a baby carrier. It allowed me to rehearse and perform in the musical “Seussical the Musical” with our baby strapped firmly to my chest. We made it through the musical as a family with neither of us having to stay home. No, I didn’t play the sour Kangaroo, though Aubreigh would have made a wonderful baby kangaroo. Baby Bjorn makes a great baby carrier. There are also more affordable variations that work just as well such as Snugli.
stroller Jogging Stroller: Once the baby is here, it’s time to work off that baby weight you have gained with the pregnancy…yes, guys gain it too. A jogging stroller is a great way to lose that weight and for the baby, it provides a joyful stroll. After all, you need to start taking care of yourself so you can be around for all the grandchildren and great grandchildren you will one day have. There are many variations out there. My advice is to research on the internet to find the best combination of price and functionality to meet your needs.
fraggle Suitable Television: Babies are highly impressionable. Though they don’t understand all they see or hear, it still influences them. Remember: A baby can only dream about what it knows. Make sure they have good dreams. There will be times you are sitting up late at night with your baby and though it may be tempting to turn on “Superbad” and have a laugh or pop in the latest thriller, resist the urge. Avoid violence and harsh language. Instead find a happy median: Entertainment you can enjoy that will positively influence your child. I highly recommend Fraggle Rock. It has great characters, great stories, great fun and best of all, great music. All four seasons are available in a box set from Amazon or your local DVD dealer.
wipeswarmer Baby Wipes Warmer: A no-brainer. Cold and backsides go together like orange juice and toothpaste. If you have ever touched a cold wipe to a baby’s bottom, you know what I mean. A wiper warmer spares your baby from the discomfort of experiencing a cold chill on their tush. Not to mention it saves you from having a “sword in the stone” moment. This happens when you use a cold wipe and your babies cheeks clench down like the jaws of life. It’s impossible to unearth the wipe from the depths of East Cheek and West Cheek without leaving behind bits and pieces of paper which you must later fish out. Be kind to the behind. Prince Lionheart makes a wonderful wipes warmer and it is available at most baby retailers.
diaperbag Diaper Bag: Aka, the survivor kit for being a father. This will host everything you need to care for your baby while out and about. Don’t leave home without it! Diapers, check. Wipes, check. Blanket, check. Toys, check. Bottles, check. Now you need a way to carry them. Don’t be ashamed to posses one in public, it’s a badge of honor announcing your dad status to others, not a purse. For a more discreet papa, there are book bag style diaper bags. Diaper Dude Diaper Bag is a great bag and Skip Hop makes great bags as well. I personally carry a Vera Bradley Mod Floral Pink diaper bag and yes, I have gotten many nice compliments about it from women.
imac Good Computer: Now that your new life has started, it’s time to save those memories. Investing in a new computer is an excellent start in documenting your child’s path from diapers to drivers-ed. Not only does it allow you to print and store digital images, but it allows you to easily create videos using home movie footage, still images and music. As far as quality, ease of use, stability, and value of software out of the box, you can’t go wrong with a Mac computer. Both the MacBook and iMac are affordable, professional computers for image and video creation.
babybouncer Bouncer Seat: An affordable solution to calm your new baby. I recommend a bouncer seat that includes a rumble motion. This often has a calming effect. A good bouncer seat is a comforting and welcome seat for your newborn. Not only is it great for playtime, but often it can lead to a nap. Find one with bright colors, music, toys and rumble motion. Boppy makes a great bouncer I recommend that is extremely soft and comes in colors for both girls and boys.
gown Infant Gowns: Trust me on this one: Snapping the countless snaps of a one piece sleeper of a crying baby with a dirty diaper in the middle of the night is about as fun as licking a porcupine. Often you will end up with a leg through a hole that is no hole at all or extra snaps that have no opposite snap to buddy up with with the only option being a restart to to porcupine licking contest. Infant Gowns eliminate this frustrating trial. Don’t worry, their for boys too. If it makes you feel better, think of it as a kilt. Gowns allow for easy diaper changing when a child is young and diaper changes are frequent.
playmat Baby Toys: As a work at home father, the right toys helped me to grab a few minutes of work time while keeping my baby entertained with educational and stimulating activity. For newborns, I recommend a play mat/baby gym. They provide endless hours of entertainment with varying actives for young children. The one I personally recommend is Bright Starts Baby’s Play Place Play Mat. It’s a Swiss Army Knife of baby play. Starting out, it has sides that fold up to provide a safe environment for your child to lay on their back and stare up at flashing lights and mirrors and listen to colorful music. As they grow, the sides fold down to expand the play mat and provide quality tummy time. A play mat allows your child to be entertained and give you a much needed and deserved break. As your baby grows and starts to stand, I recommend an excersaucer  for the same purpose.
love Most Importantly: Love. Love your new baby and your significant other and your entire family. The love you show and display for your child is the love they will share as they grow. Provide a warm, nurturing environment for your child and watch them bloom into amazing human beings.

Have a reccomendation of your own? Feel free to leave a comment with your favorite baby items.

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Category: Life, Stay at home father  | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,  | 13 Comments
Just for Fun Friday: Todd Goes to School
May 15th, 2009 | Author: admin

Todd Goes to School

toddschoolBy Jeff Duckworth
Todd the pig had brains of slop,
He wasn’t very bright.
So to school he had to go,
To learn to read and write.

He didn’t learn a single thing,
He chose a different route.
He chased the girls who wore pigtails,
And so they kicked him out.

Click here to read original Todd Poem.

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Category: Humor, Just for Fun Friday, Poetry  | Tags: , , , , ,  | 3 Comments
Ask the Pig in Pajamas: Call for Questions
May 11th, 2009 | Author: admin

piglogo1

Duck of All Trades Studio’s resident swine, Pajama, will be staring in his own weekly Vlog where he answers your questions. He will be making his debut next week. Submit your questions now for the chance to have them answered in his premier video. Have a question about love? Family? Mechanical Engineering? Tabasco Sauce? Pajama answers them all.

You can submit your question by replying to this post, emailing them to: pajama@duckofalltrades.com or by direct messaging  @duckofalltrades via twitter.

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Category: Ask the Pig in Pajamas, Humor  | Tags: , , , , , ,  | 4 Comments
Just For Fun Friday: A Pig Named Sue
May 08th, 2009 | Author: admin
A Pig Named Sue

A Pig Named Sue

A Pig Named Sue

by Jeff Duckworth

Do you know Sue? She thinks she can fly.
She thinks she’s a fairy. I do not know why.
She knows of the ground, but not of the sky.
She knows of low down, but not of up high.

Sue made some wings, she made them of wood.
Held together with tape, they weren’t very good.
Then she flew far, as far as she could.
But found herself standing right where she had stood.

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Category: Birth of a Book, Humor, Just for Fun Friday, Life, Moo-Pig, Poetry  | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,  | 5 Comments
Book Review: Mama, I Need Snuggles by Jennifer Tutwiler
May 07th, 2009 | Author: admin
Mama, I Need Snuggles Cover

Cover of Mama, I Need Snuggles

Jeff’s Take

I received a wonderful book in the mail today, just in time for Mother’s day. Mama, I Need Snuggles by Jennifer Tutwiler and Illustrated by Jennifer & Jeremiah Tutwiler.

Mama, I need Snuggles is a little book with a lot of charm. It’s magic lies in the simplicity and honesty of the richly warming story and illustrations. Mrs. Tutwiler, a mother of four, draws upon her own experience to create a realistic and loving portrait of motherhood.

The story focuses on the relationship between a young bunny boy and his mother. Whenever the young bunny needs comfort, he finds it in the arms of his mama. “I woke up this morning and saw it was snowing… ‘Mama, I need snuggles,’ I said.” The pattern continues through the book as we see the loving bond between mother and child. The ending is touching and a tribute to parents everywhere.

The language of Mama, I need Snuggles is simple and reads with just the the right amount of repetition and rhyme. Mrs. Tutwiler has put considerable thought into her text and it shows. The pages flow smoothly making reading out loud to your kids a must.

Sample image from book

Sample image from book

The illustrations were created by both Jennifer and Jerimiah Tutwiler and compliment the story with beautiful elegance. Line work and color are both spot on for the words. They remind me of a combination between Beatrix Potter and Clement Hurd. I love the expressions of the characters. They convey large amounts of emotion with minimal effort.

I highly recommend Mama, I need Snuggles. It is available for purchase and preview on lulu.com by clicking here. You can order it in both download format and paperback format. I recommend the paperback as the printed illustrations are simply gorgeous. The book is 7.5″ X 7.5″ saddle stitched and makes a perfect gift.

Don’t just take my word. My 6 year old son Samuel read the book and gave the following review.

Samuel

Samuel

Samuel’s Take

I think it’s great. I like it. It’s great from the whole thing.

Text of Mama, I Need Snuggles is a copyright of Jennifer Tutwiler. Illustrations are a copyright of Jennifer and Jeremiah Tutwiler. Visit them both online: www.newmarkstudiosonline.com.

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Category: Book Review  | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,  | 2 Comments
A Crocodile In My Tub
May 04th, 2009 | Author: admin

crocodileA Crocodile In My Tub

By Jeff Duckworth

A Bath? A Bath? Why am I not in the tub?
My reason is good,
Listen you should.
Of why I’m not in the tub.

Splashing. Sloshing. A scrubbing in my tub!
A crocodile,
Is all a-smile.
Just scrubbing in my tub.

So there. You see? Why I’m not in the tub.
Out I’ll stay,
Until he’s away.
I will not get in the tub.

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Category: Poetry  | Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,  | Leave a Comment
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