Roger Bob meets Sasquatch

Roger Bob the bunny,
Was hungry for a meal.
So when he found a graden,
A carrot he did steal.

He wasn’t very smart,
His plan soon went to botch.
For the garden he stole from,
Belonged to Sasquatch.

The Real Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown,
And was like “Dude! Really? Who puts a well at the at the top of a hill? I mean COME ON. What’s a boy gotta do to get indoor plumbing?!?.

Little Father Duck

by Katrina

Little Father Duck
Come kiss your pig.
Though you are small
And I am big.
You’ll marry me
It’s meant to be.
Someday we’ll have
A duck-piggy.

Hickory Rickory Ridge
The cat went to the fridge
His thirst was foiled
The milk was spoiled
Hickory Rickory Ridge

Adrift

My mouse turned one year old today,
So I bought her a gift.
A balloon, what a bad idea!
My mouse is now adrift.

Nilly Jo-Peep, and her hidden sheep.

Nilly Jo-Peep

by Father Duck

Nilly Jo-Peep has lost her sheep,
And doesn’t know where they went.
She’s awfully dumb,
They’re under her bum,
Someone should give her a hint.

In his Junior year attending Rhyming UniNursery, Father Duck met an enchanting pig named Katrina. He immediately fell in love. Following is a poem and illustration Father Duck created for a valentine to win the heart of his divine swine.

Father Duck and his beloved Katrina

Valenswine

by Father Duck

The rose is red, the violet’s blue,
The skunk doth stink, and so do you.
I’ll plug my nose, if you’ll be mine
Won’t thou be my Valenswine?

Thy pudgy face, it’s got me shaken,
Thou art so hot, you should be bacon.
I’ll love you forever, my dear pork rind,
Won’t thou be my Valenswine?

Sadly, Katrina squealed and waddled wee wee wee wee all the way home, leaving Father Duck heart broken andwondering “where did I go wrong?”

Before there was Mary and her little lamb, Father Duck told the tale of Larry, and his giant pig. A cautionary tale of the dangers of taking your pet pig to school.

Larry riding his pig.

Larry Had a Giant Pig

By Father Duck

Larry had a giant pig,
Its butt was fat and wide;
And everywhere that Larry went,
The pig gave him a ride.

He rode him to school one day,
Which wasn’t very cool.
For when he went to lunch.
They fed him to the school.

GREASY HILL DUCK POND – The Tone Deaf Ducks are staging a comeback, armed with a new album and a tour. Their new album titled “Perfect Disharmony” is slated for a July release. Following is their first new single and the cover art from their CD….ear plugs not included.

Listen to Come Take a Swim in My Pond

New CD Artwork

Come Take a Swim in My Pond – Lyrics

Under my feathers you’ll see
You’re the only hen for me
I want to kiss you upon the bill
That would be coolio
Sometimes I wish you would. Fly away with me
But it’s only a dream
But I wish you would. So Bad. Baby

Come take a swim in my pond
(that would be coolio)
You’re looks are just like a wand
(They cast a spell on me)

Don’t worry if you. Can’t float
I have those blow up ring things
I’ll blow one up. For you
Then you will float. Coolio
Sometimes I wish you would
Dive for fish. so I could see your tail feathers
But I wish you would. So bad. Baby
You better come take a swim in my pond.

Come take a swim in my pond
(that would be coolio)
You’re looks are just like a wand
(They cast a spell on me)

Going against all logic, The Tone Deaf Ducks once set out on tour. Father duck wrote the following poem about their adventures. When asked about Mother Goose’s Nursery Rhyme Rub-a-dub-dub being a rip off of this poem, Father Duck simply replied “I can’t blame her for changing the words. After all, I would rather be with three men in a tub than with three Tone Deaf Ducks on a bus.”

Three Ducks on a Bus

By Father Duck

Gus-a-fuss-fuss,
Three ducks on a bus;
And who do you think they be?
Marty, and Jose,
And Bob are on their way;
Tone Deaf Ducks all three!

Gus-a-fuss-fuss,
Three ducks on a bus;
Where are they on their way to?
They’re going on tour.
Why? I’m not sure.
They sing like the stink of a shoe.

Tone Deaf Ducks Tour