Hickory Rickory Ridge
The cat went to the fridge
His thirst was foiled
The milk was spoiled
Hickory Rickory Ridge

Oh Bob. You and your breathe. Bob, one of Father Duck’s classmates at Rhyming Uninursery, had a strange hunger for onions. Father Duck wrote this poem in hopes that Bob would take note and fix his problem. Mother Goose would later steal his idea, adapting it for Jack Be Nimble.

Bob Be Hungry

Bob Be Hungry

By Father Duck

Bob be hungry,
Bob be dense,
Bob ate onions
And now needs mints.

Three Blind Mice? I think not. Try Tone Deaf Ducks. Tone Deaf Ducks is a rhyme Father Duck wrote about his three uncles: Bob, Jose and Marty. The Three ducks formed a barber shop quartet along with future Men Without Hat’s front man Ivan Doroschuk. Ivan left the group after a dancing incident in which he broke his arm caught between Jose doing the Cabbage Patch and Marty doing the Running Duck. He would go on to write the song The Safety Dance to encourage the trio to calm their violent dancing ways.

Mother Goose would later “borrow” Father Duck’s poem and rewrite it about less violently dancing and less horribly singing visually impaired mice. Sadly Bob, Jose and Marty have been all but forgotten. On a brighter note, they still sing as horrible as ever and are planning a comeback.

Tone Deaf Ducks

By Father Duck

Tone deaf ducks. Tone deaf ducks.
Hear how they quack. Hear how they quack.
They sing out of tune and miss every note,
Their voices a cross of a frog and a goat,
Did you know such a sound could come out the throat,
Of tone deaf ducks.

Tone Deaf Ducks

By Jeff Duckworth

Asleep? In bed? Why am I not in bed?
My reason is good,
Listen you should.
Of why I’m not in bed.

Jumping. Leaping. A hopping in my bed!
A platypus,
Is all a-fuss.
Just bouncing in my bed.

So there. You see? Why I’m not in bed.
Up I’ll stay,
Until he’s away.
I will not go to bed.

Roomingo

by Jeff Duckworth

Tired of Cocka doodle-dooing,
and life in a chicken pen.
A rooster flew south one night,
Wound up with a new girl-hen.

A beautiful flamingo was she,
They hatched an egg together.
What a site it was to see,
a rooster of pink feather.

A boy whom wishes he had a rock.

If I Had a Dog

By Jeff Duckworth

If I had a dog I think I’d call him Larry
I’d like him kinda big, I’d like him kinda hairy
And very sharp teeth, well maybe not very
For a sharp teethed dog would be kinda scary

I’d teach him to get dirty, to do doggy stuff
And if he couldn’t bark, I’d teach him to say ruff
And if he were afraid, I’d teach him to be tough
And if he gets a flea, I’ll gladly scratch his fluff 

I wish I had a dog, but sadly I do not
A boring pet rock is sadly all I got
But maybe someday, If I wish a lot
A dog to name Larry, I’ll finally get a shot